


Inherited Behaviors

by Icka M Chif (mischif)



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Animal Traits, Blanket Permission, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Grooming, Перевод на русский | Translation in Russian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 14:42:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16327961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mischif/pseuds/Icka%20M%20Chif
Summary: It started with an empty water glass perched on the edge of a table. And then Perry started to notice a couple of...oddbehaviors about his nemesis.





	Inherited Behaviors

**Author's Note:**

> [Translated into Russian](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19942870) by [fandom_Disney_and_DreamWorks_2019](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandom_Disney_and_DreamWorks_2019/pseuds/fandom_Disney_and_DreamWorks_2019)

* * *

It started with an empty water glass perched on the edge of a table. 

While dramatic entrances were well and good, and to be honest, a great deal of fun, sometimes waiting and observing his nemesis garnered Perry information he normally couldn't otherwise obtain. 

As well as ways to get out of the various traps hidden around the lair. 

Doofenshmirtz had obviously drunk the contents and left it there, but that didn't explain why the evil scientist was staring at it while he waited for Perry's appearance. 

After a long moment of squinty eyed concentration, Doofenshmirtz knocked the glass off the table, then chuckled to himself in smug delight before wandering off. 

Perry debated if it was some sort of trick, or trap, but he couldn't figure out any purpose to it. 

So he dismissed the odd actions from his mind, and went to defeat this afternoon's evil scheme. 

The second time, it was a mouse. Agent M was one of their surveillance agents, who lived in the walls of the Evil Scientist's Lair and wandered into the open in a moment of bad timing while Perry was trapped. 

He had not expected Doofenshmirtz to freeze for a moment, gaze fixated on the tiny grey mouse. Then slowly, very carefully, the scientist lowered himself into a crouch, fingertips on the floor, butt wiggling just the faintest bit.

It took a moment to realise what that posture meant, and Perry chattered, encouraging Agent M to get out of there. The mouse squeaked in response and darted away. 

Doofenshmirtz seemed to be waiting for the motion, bounding across the floor in a surprisingly fluid move, fingertips curved into what looked disturbingly like claws. If Perry had blinked, he would have missed the scientist pounced on the mouse, catching her between his hands in a move that would have easily taken down larger prey. 

Lifting up the mouse, Perry had a strange sinking feeling that Doofenshmirtz was about to _eat_ the tiny agent, just shove her in his mouth and devour her in one bite. 

Which, while not only being against OCWA regulations, was highly disturbing. Perry squawked as loud as he could, as close to a scream as he could. Thankfully the noise seemed to break Doofenshmirtz out of the trance he was in, appearing to be surprised by the fact he had a mouse in his hands. 

"Sorry about that." Doofenshmirtz set the mouse down with a nervous laugh. "Instinct, you know." 

Of that, Perry wasn't too sure of. He hadn't seen instincts like that outside of the agent room. And never with a human, who would normally scream at the appearance of a mouse. 

Agent M quickly disappeared and Doofenshmirtz started with his backstory monologue, but they could both tell that his heart wasn't in it and things wrapped up pretty quickly after that. 

The third incident is what made Perry finally put the pieces together. 

"Perry the Platypus, what did you do to your _fur_?" Doofenshmirtz glared at Perry from what might be considered an uncomfortably close range for when they weren't in combat. 

Perry glared back. He loved his kids, but sometimes being their mascot meant he'd had to skip his morning routine. And while he didn't enjoy showing up with messy fur, sometimes sacrifices had to be made in the name of thwarting evil. 

"Oh, I can't stand it. No." Doofenshmirtz shook his head and stalked away, his voice cracking angrily. "I will not have my nemesis looking like this. I won't, Perry the Platypus." 

Perry grumbled in return, tugging on his bonds. It was one of those traps that wrapped around his ankle and wrists. They were tricky, but he could usually rely on his tail to get out of it. 

After a moment, he figured out how to get out of it, just in time for Doofenshmirtz to reappear, with a stern expression, holding a hairbrush in his hands. "I know this is a little unconventional, Perry the Platypus. I'm just going to do a quick brush up and then we can resume fighting. No doubt you've already figured out how to escape already anyway." 

The man really was brilliant, except for all the areas where he was an idiot. Perry gave him a warning growl as Doofenshmirtz stepped behind him, where Perry couldn't see him. He trusted Doofenshmirtz to a certain degree, and was willing to give him some leeway, but if this was uncomfortable at all, he would not hesitate to punch Doofenshmirtz in the face. 

Doofenshmirtz hummed in response, partly in acknowledgement, but Perry couldn't help but to tense at the first bit of contact, the brush running down his spine, from just under the fedora to the tip of his tail. 

And then froze, as Doofenshmirtz did it again, his brush strokes smooth and efficient. Like he'd done this before. 

"At least your fur is in good shape, you've got a nice healthy sheen on it. Just need to get it in order." Doofenshmirtz mused idly, his voice relaxed as he worked. "Mutti always said that if your fur started to get a bit dry, you should eat more fish. Or frogs. Anything that came out of the water was always a bit tricky to translate. But she was right, my siblings always had the shiniest coats." 

Not his _Mother_ , Perry realised. The name was wrong, and Doofenshmirtz only had one human sibling. 

But he'd been raised by Ocelots for a while when he was a child. 

Suddenly a lot of things made more sense. While Doofenshmirtz was _human_ , he'd kept some of the instincts from when he'd been living with wild cats.

He wondered if this meant that Doofenshmirtz ate his meat on the rare side too. 

He relaxed and let Doofenshmirtz groom him, chattering happily when he got a good spot. Being pet by his family was close, but it'd been a while since he'd gotten _groomed_ by someone else. 

Some of the other agents would help each other out, Agent B, Bagheera the panther, had a habit of pinning down any of the smaller agents he considered his pack and bathing them with a scratchy tongue, but most of the agents tended to stick to using brushes instead of mouths for grooming. 

Much like the boar bristle brush Doofenshmirtz was using, to make sure that the oils on his fur were correctly distributed and little bits of dirt and dust was removed. Doofenshmirtz was really good too, getting some of the trickier spots, and teasing out a mat before it could start right by his neck. 

It was nearly a surprise when Doofenshmirtz stopped, his eyes having fallen to half-mast in pleasure. "Alright, that's much better." Doofenshmirtz commented, running his fingertips down Perry's spine. "It looks much neater now, and I'm sure it's more comfortable too."

Perry chirred in response. It did. He hadn't noticed how much it had been bothering him until it wasn't anymore. 

"I'll be right back, and then we can continue with today's agenda." Doofenshmirtz informed him, walking off to put the hair brush away. "Just sit tight, I've got a great backstory today!" 

Perry watched him go, torn between relaxing a little bit longer, and getting ready for a fight. Part of him wondered if maybe he could convince Doofenshmirtz to do that again sometime.

Finally he sighed, and pulled himself back together again, getting his mind in the game. He was a Special Agent, he had a duty to fulfill, dagnabbit. 

Still, the cat thing was something to keep in mind for fighting his nemesis.

* * *

The next time Perry got stuck in a trap and couldn't quite free himself, he pulled out a laser pointer. 

Laser pointers worked just as well on Evil Scientists as they did on Ocelots. 

-fin-


End file.
